Why You Should Carpe Your Diem

A very wise woman came into the bakery today. "The only time you'll get nothing in return for your efforts is if you don't even try." We had been discussing the lack of eligible and worthy bachelors in Maine, and how crushes seem to always crash and burn, so why bother trying? This was her response. "I tell it to my graduate students," she explained. Her point is well taken; her example is a job interview. You may not get the job, but you're no worse off than you were before and you've learned something, gained a valuable lesson from the experience. You'll interview better, or perhaps you have a better idea of what you want or don't want in a job. Or in anything, for that matter: boys, friends, hobbies, jobs, adventures of all sorts. Of course it will come to nothing if you do nothing. But if you do something and fail, at least you gave it the old college try, right?

karmic bennies?

The karmic benefit of biking home from work: you find a Visa card along the side of the road, look up its owner in the phone book, and return the card, with hopes of good karma to come.

Instead, three bizarre (although not terribly - just slightly out of the ordinary) incidents occur.

1.
Lady at bakery: Oh man, did you gain so much weight when you started working here?
Me: ...No?

(Mostly I just found this to be a bizarre question to ask someone, although we get this kind of question a lot, never quite phrased this way. I mean, do I LOOK like I gained that much weight? Let's hope not.)

2.
Well-dressed, Amish-beard-sporting French Canadian: Are your parents originally French Canadian?
Me: No, not at all.
W-D, A-B-S FC: Well your face, it looks very French Canadian.

That's one I've never heard before. I've gotten Lebanese or Syrian, Brazilian, and Greek statue, but never French Canadian. Third parties however have since confirmed that I may look somewhat French Canadian. Huh, who knew.

3.
About the same time as the French Canadian incident, a couple from somewhere in the deep south came in a ordered a few goodies. Like any good tourist, Wife was pulling out her camera and pointing it around the bakery. All well and good, until I noticed it pointed at me; "am I in this picture?" Appalled. I don't want to be emailed around to all their friends, the laughing stock of "Bob and Mary's trip up Nawth." "Smile!" I grimaced, handing the bag over as Husband smiled dutifully. I hope I ruined their silly picture.

crazier things may have happened.

[phone rings, 5:40 pm]

me: hello?
lady: oh hi, may i please speak to an adult in the house?
me: what do you mean by adult?
lady: oh, i thought you sounded...
me: i'm 21.
lady: well may i speak to whoever is in charge of buying lightbulbs?
me: they're not in right now.
lady: okay, i'll call back in the evening.

can't wait to talk to her again.

The Plan? Not Yet.

Although I have no money and no timetable, I decided it was high time to start planning my "trip," whenever and wherever it might be. Ideally it would be an epic tour of all of North Africa and the Middle East and somehow get to India. We're looking up cheap flights at work and finding some good deals, especially to Tehran. How does that sound right about now? Sign me up, I'd go in a heartbeat. So much strife! So many fantastic things to see and do and take pictures of and opportunities for being arrested for civil unrest or something...don't worry mom, I'd stay under the radar.

Ghado!

That means lunch in Somali. Definitely taking advantage of this whole multi-cultural workplace thing. I went to lunch last week with one of the caseworkers from Lewiston, a Somali woman. We went to Hamdi, the little Somali restaurant/grocery on Washington, and of course she ordered without looking at the menu and instead engaged in a lengthy discussion with the waiter (not even really a waiter, more just the guy that works there) about food, the only word of which I understood was "chicken" (although I later found out that that isn't how you say chicken in Somali, after all).

A few minutes later a plate of rice topped with peas, raisins, and some other stuff and served with a piece of chicken and several pieces of goat meat appeared in front of me, along with a banana, salad and salad dressing, hot green chili paste, and a pitcher of what we decided was watermelon juice. It was delicious - the rice was flavorful and made even better by its garnishes, the meat was flavorful and spicy and the green chili sauce made everything just painful enough to be AWESOME.

On top of it all, I learned my first Somali words! I can now say lunch, table, chair, rice, chicken, meat, banana, juice, and thank you. Hopefully my vocabulary will expand a bit in the future, but I can deal with this for now.

من زمان ما حكيت عربي

It's been a while...

I started my internship at Catholic Charities this week doing refugee resettlement work. So far it's good - really interesting, a lot to do, a little bit overwhelming. In the two day I worked so far, two Iraqi families came, and 14 more people are arriving on Monday (although I think they might be Burmese). The other intern and myself spent most of our days driving around Portland taking care of various tasks and going to the airport to greet new arrivals. The best part? We got to speak Arabic! I never thought I'd get to brush up on my skillz at PWM of all places. My goal for the summer is to make friends with an Iraqi family so they can teach me how to cook, or at least invite me for dinner or something. It's really cool to work with interpreters, especially understanding as much as I can because you totally pick up way more about the translation through language and culture. We had to go to this orientation program thing (explaining what it was for would take up way more energy than I have) and there were Sudanese, Somalis, and Iraqis, all with their own interpreters, and listening to the English and then watching the interpretation into Somali or Arabic was mind boggling. But so cool. I hope I keep getting opportunities to use my Arabic ... fingers crossed!

The Little Traitor

Last night was the closing night of the Israeli Film Festival of Greater Philadelphia (believe it or not Philly has a lot of Israelis) and since student tickets were free and it was basically on campus, naturally I went. The film was The Little Traitor, a story about a young Israeli boy who befriends a British lieutenant in 1947. The movie itself is cute - definitely worth a NetFlix. But what I found so fascinating was the way the Arab-Israeli relations were depicted. Although the scope was so limited, the boy (Proffi) and the other Israelis in the film had friendly, normal relations with their Arab neighbors. Proffi bought his groceries in the souq and spent time smoking hookah with the Arab men hanging out in the street. They spoke a mix of Hebrew and Arabic, and were seemingly united in their hatred of the British occupation. It was almost as if the film was screaming, "things would have been better had the British stayed." It made that point explicitly when Proffi and his British friend, Dunlop, (played by Alfred Molina) were discussing the British presence and the Israeli resistance. Dunlop suggested to Proffi that the British were keeping the peace in Palestine, and if they were to leave, the Arabs would take the place of the Israelis in the weaker position and would put forth their own home-grown resistance. Proffi dismissed these wise words with a passionate "but I hate the British!" Alas, what else can one expect from a sixth grader.

Dunlop's point is well taken, but then again, hindsight is always 20/20.

That's What She Said

A friend of mine is writing an article for a magazine and wanted to interview some of Penn's (more liberal) Jews, and I liked her questions so much I wanted to throw them up here. It's a bit lengthy, but come on, it's not like you have anything better to do.

Q1) Do you consider yourself religious? - I consider myself conservative, a little bit observant, but not necessarily religious. "Religious Jew" has such a stereotype attached to it.

Q2) What defines a ‘liberal’ Jew if such a definition exists? - You can be liberal religiously or liberal culturally, I guess. I assume you're going for the liberal culturally aspect. In the US, and I think in Israel (although liberal Israelis would probably be considered radical here), being liberal means having some level of questioning of the legitimacy of Israel in its present form. I don't think you'll really find someone Jewish who actively believes Israel shouldn't exist at all, in any form, but being liberal means you question something about it - whether than be the nature of the state, their actions, it's geographical placement, something more than just Israeli politics (because anyone in their right mind should question that system).

Q3) What is your opinion on Zionism? - I read a great quote in a book once, about how Zionism has two different meanings. The meaning for Jews is itself twofold. Zionism is first and foremost the movement started by Theodor Herzl (a secular Austrian Jew) in 1897, which was a secular search for a Jewish homeland. The Zionist conference itself proposed Uganda, at the time a British (I think) colony, but there was a large contingent of very religious Jews in Eastern Europe who demanded it be founded in the Holy Land. Zionism as a movement is defined by its socialist characteristic. Israel was founded on the backs of kibbutzniks (people who lived and worked kibbutzes, essentially successful socialist community experiments), and its origins are arguably completely secular, although religion definitely had an influence. The other side of (Jewish) Zionism is the way it is seen today. To be Zionist means to support Israel, or believe in it, or to want to make aliyah (move to Israel), something along those lines. There's obviously not one set definition. However, for most Jews, Zionism is not a negative movement. It is at its core the (secular) search for a Jewish homeland, whether or not in Palestine is a different matter. Now, to most of the Arab world, and specifically Palestine, Zionism is code for all the bad stuff; occupation, settlements, genocide (if you want to go that far), apartheid, whatever. Granted, this is a fair view point, since Palestinians lost their land at the hands of 'Zionists', who were essentially the first settlers. However Zionism is not meant as a negative movement or to have negative effects. If I were to hazard a guess, I would say Herzl and the first Zionists had every intention of living and coexisting peacefully with their Arab neighbors in Palestine. Shit hit the fan when the Holocaust came and Israel became founded as an expressly Jewish state, rather than just a state with religious equality and tolerance and principles of sanctuary. So in a nutshell, Zionism means something totally different depending who you are, and as a word should be completely omitted from intelligent/educated debate because of the amount of anger it will incite, on both sides.

Q4) What do you think of the Israeli lobby at Penn?- I wouldn't call it a lobby, but the pro-Israel contingent is definitely very strong. They are also sensitive / easily offended, which seems silly, because they have so much more support than any Palestinian groups do.However, I think it is to be expected considering the high Jewish, and particularly high Orthodox, percentage at Penn. Luckily MOST Penn kids are intelligent and open-minded enough to engage in relatively civil debate.

Q5) What are your thoughts on Israel’s actions towards Gaza? - Personally, I understand both sides, and it's really a struggle. Obviously Hamas shouldn't be shooting rockets into Israel, but obviously Israel shouldn't wage a war of attrition against the people of Gaza. I think the accusations of the criminality of Israel's particular attacks on schools, etc, are bullshit. Any group like Hamas - including (and this has been well-publicized) Haganah during the 30s and 40s - hides weapons wherever they can, and that usually means community buildings like schools or religious institutions. But then again, obviously Israel shouldn't be bombing out schools when there are children inside. I'm pretty sure their technology is good enough to bomb them at night, or something. I also think using White Phosphorous should put them on trial at the ICC. I think "atrocities" are a particularly good definition of what happened, and as much as I/others would like to, I don't actually think you can place the entire blame on Israel. Like it or not, they were provoked, or believe they were, and while the punishment may not have fit the crime, there was a crime, and it should be punished, whether or not the means fit the end is a different question.

Q6) Do you think your views are well represented by the international media?- Interesting question. What is international media? Media in Jordan, satellite TV channels such as Al-Jazeera and Al-Quds and others, during the time of the invasion of Gaza, showed nothing but death, destruction, smoke, fire, all the usual suspects. Any time you turned on the TV a bloody child would be staring back at you. It's all anyone talked about. What's your opinion on Gaza? I must have heard that question a hundred times. (Now try answering it in Arabic, as an American Jew, to a Jordanian/Palestinian.) When I came back to the states, I was appalled at how few people knew what was going on. Obviously, people were like oh yeah, Israel invaded Gaza, they had to stop the rockets. But never once did I see images anywhere near approaching the gore of the ones I saw in Jordan. It seemed to me that people just didn't care. It was like going from a place where everyone was angry and passionate to a world of apathy and ignorance. I think this case proves that there is no 'international media,' per se. Yes, the New York Times covers international issues but their Gaza coverage was so focused on political aspects of the problem and very little on the humanity issue, whereas 'international' news networks such as Al-Jazeera were SO focused on the human element and very little, if at all, on the politics. Hence if I look hard enough, I'm sure my views are represented by SOMEBODY in the 'international' media circuit.

Q7) Do you have Muslim or Arab friends? - Yes! Of course. I lived in Jordan. I would be totally friendless otherwise.

Q8) What are your views on Islam?- As a religion? I haven't read the Qur'an so I can't answer completely, but from what I know first-hand of Islam as a religion I really like it. But that's like asking me what I think of Christianity, or Hinduism, or Native American religion. All religions are quite nice, but I like mine well enough. Islamic culture, traditions, holidays, everything is cool by me (in moderation, of course - hence why I'm not so religious myself). Asking this question is so loaded though, so I'll go there. I detest fundamentalism in any form; Jewish, Christian, Muslim, whatever. Fundamentalism is a narrow-minded world view that is the antithesis to everything modern thoughts stands for.

Keep Moving .... West

It seems the farther West I go the more I miss the East, and probably vice versa. Being out here makes me really miss Jordan - maybe because everything is totally the opposite, not least the weather. But it's also making me miss home. The only thing I don't miss is school. Did I make the right decision going back to Penn? Logically, yes. I am glad to be closer to the fam and the friends but I still feel like there is something huge missing in my life. It's like every day I am dealing with the same heartbreak, over and over. I desperately want to go back, but I don't have a reason. I am torn between feeling the necessity of gettingajobacareeranormallifeasalaryBLAH or giving up on everything? It can't be dichotomous but it definitely feels like it is. Even silly things, that exist everywhere, like city lights, make me think of Amman. The forest makes me think of the desert. Jews make me think of Muslims, Israelis of Palestinians, peanut butter sandwiches of za'atar and labaneh, my lonely single of a crazy house full of children, English of Arabic...all these things I came to love are now just ... gone. I want them back!

عن غزة

This evening I went to a "teach-in" about Gaza which featured such esteemed academicians as Ian Lustick (political science big shot at Penn) and Eve Troutt-Powell, my fave teach evs! No for real, she is my favorite professor I've had at Penn. Anyway, it was sponsored by SJP, and although the general tone was definitely pro-Gaza (but without negative connotations) I thought it was well-balanced, at least as well as it could be, and presented its arguments in a reasonable manner which abstained from throwing blame or inciting anger or irrationality. It was for sure thought-provoking, and although the room was packed there are certain people who I wish would have been there. Certain points were made which I believe both Jews and Arabs need to hear to understand each other and what's going on.

It was an appropriate follow-up to a conversation I had had/listened to earlier today with a bunch of guys from the Gulf. One of them asked me what my view is on Gaza - a question I find really hard to answer despite the amount of thought that has definitely gone into it - and they proceeded to debate between themselves the history of the conflict, the rights, the wrongs, the causes, the outcomes, everything. It was really interesting to listen to, and not least because I could actually understand it.

It's all combining in my head to make me even more sure of where I stand on this whole spectacle...if you really want to know, feel free to ask.

I go back and forth between desperately wanting to go back and contemplating an immediate future at home...there are benefits and drawbacks in either case, and I know I don't need a plan, but wouldn't life be easier if I had one? What's the goal, and what's the back-up?

EZ

I decided I needed motivation to save money, and I decided that motivation is to go back to Jordan. What better reason to not buy that extraneous whatever than to have enough in the bank for a plane ticket?

It's still weird being back at school ... it could just be the senior thing or it could be reverse homesickness, but I just feel kind of floaty and ungrounded, like I really don't know what I'm doing. It's weird, I don't like it. So I need a goal, and this is it.

Plus everything makes me miss Jordan...especially Arabic because it's so EASY. It kills me. I want to tell everyone that عامية is so easy they just need to stop being afraid of it...but class is so BLEGH all in English and people don't understand and everyone always looks at me when there's a question...it's going to make me forget everything! حرام...

Remnants of a Former Life

We started a movie the other day in عامية, called Captain Abu Raed. It's Jordanian, so I can understand them! It was filmed actually in Jordan, too, so I recognized the airport and Amman and coasters...it made me miss it...

I signed up for a conversation partner so I could keep practicing my Arabic, and there was an ice cream social last night for everyone to meet each other. I meet a bunch of guys from Saudi Arabia and one from Qatar and a few from UAE and it was awesome because I could FINALLY speak Arabic/Arabeezy and people understood me! So hopefully this will work out because it would be great to keep using it.

I'm trying to put together a slideshow because I signed up to do a presentation on my time abroad, and I'm looking for all these specific songs that I can't find because I have no idea of their title, who sings them, or even the words...oh well. At least I found the nationalist song that they always show on Jordan TV. It's actually awesome - watch it. The funny part is it comes on TV and people actually intentionally watch it, volume cranked and everything.

To Smoke or Not to Smoke?

I was thinking about really being Jordanian back in the States and taking up smoking. No, not seriously (I don’t think). But I was walking back into my building this evening (for those who don’t know I live in the International House), passing a group of three smoking together, and overheard this one American guy asking this French guy about classes, and it struck me that these people were getting to know each other over a cigarette. What a convenient ice-breaker! Gee, got a light? By the way, what’s your life story? Things like that are what made me want to live in an international community anyway. If I have to start smoking to make international friends, so be it.

I feel your pain, brother.

Thanks mom for pointing me in the direction of this fantastic article from the Week in Review. I liked it so much I sent the author this email in response:

I have just returned from a semester studying abroad in Amman and I can appreciate the sentiments you express in this article. The vast difference in perspective even between the "liberal" American set and the Arab viewpoint was unexpected at first but it is something more Americans need to realize. I agree that it is important to show both sides of the conflict in equally legitimate light and not to give in to pressure from those who would have their news sources even more biased.

The point that ideas like Zionism can carry such a multitude of connotations is something not enough people understand. Our words matter, and not because we have power but because we are judged for them.

I just wanted to thank you for acknowledging that there are such diverse opinions on the conflict and for recognizing the difficulty of objectivity when everyone is ready to jump down your throat for the smallest turn of phrase or choice of words.

I really think his point is an excellent one; words and ideas don't carry the same meaning or weight everywhere and this simple knowledge is often lost and usually leads to misunderstanding which is where so many problems lie.

The End of an Era

Alas...I am now back in Philadelphia so this blog seems no longer relevant, at least for now. Sad! I liked blogging. So don't expect much, although if I come up with relevant ideas I'll for sure post.

Journey to the Center of Iraq

Or I should say, journey that never got us through the border. On Thursday Abe and I rented a car and trekked across the desert wilderness of Eastern Jordan with hopes of being allowing into Iraq, just to see it and say we’d been there. Four hours after we left Amman we got the Karameh border crossing, only the chat with the border guards for a few minutes until we were informed that we couldn’t go in without either Iraqi citizenship or a valid visa. Oh well, we tried. And now we can legitimately say we have seen all of Jordan; east to west, north to south.

Despite our failure to achieve our goal, it was a heck of an adventure. We ran out of gas in Ruwayshed, which is this tiny town 100 km from the border in one direction and 100 km from the next town in the other. And when I say closest town, I don’t mean you might see something resembling civilization in between the two. I mean there is nothing except igneous rock, sand, and mirages, for farther than the eye can see. Not only were we almost on Empty, but there was no gas in town. At all. They had run out and it wasn’t supposed to come till the next day. Not really wanting to stay in the middle of nowhere (literally, in every sense of the world) we negotiated to siphon gas from some guys tank, paid them 5 JD, and went on our merry way. Not entirely merry though, as we got stopped at something like 3 checkpoints on the way back. But return to Amman we did, eventually, with one more adventure tucked under our belts.

Pictures are on Picasa

What do we do when we're jetlagged?

We sleep till 2:30, that's what we do.

I can check at least one thing off the endless and ever-growing To Do While In Jordan List: eat at Reem!

Abe and I went to Faris in Sweifieh for chicken shwarma and then to Reem on the Second Circle for lamb shwarma. Both were delicious and hot and moist and mmmm just so good. Perfect jetlag breakfast-lunch-dinner food - I can see why Reem is the King's favorite. It's the kind of place that only makes shwarma and there is no writing anywhere. It's just a little red hut shack kind of thing tucked into the surrounding buildings with your typical Arab "line" aka clusterf*** gathered out front but boy, is it worth it. At .5 JD per sandwich you can eat your fill essentially for nothing. Faris, while a bit more expensive, is arguably the best chicken shwarma in the city.

Yeah, not so healthy, but hey, when in Rome...

Catch Phrase

I have created a meme, or perhaps a new buzzword, look for it in next December's NYT magazine:

propaganda prophylactic

The meaning is fairly self-explanatory but it is basically what is needed before either side can start making progress towards talking with the other. And I'm not talking about politicians here. I'm talking about 22 year old American Jews with 22 year old Palestinian Jordanians. The respective medias have such different perspectives and emphases, and no one can understand the other side completely, so you end up with clashes that don't even make logical sense because they are not arguing the same point. I therefore point out the need for a propaganda prophylactic - a way to understand both sides of the conflict without media or popular interference. Just the facts, no bias. Impossible, no?

For proof just check out and compare:
nytimes.com
jordantimes.com

1 good reason not to go Venti

Today I saw a protest, kind of. I was in a taxi and down one of the side streets there were a bunch of people with green flags...but that was about it.

And apparently you should boycott Starbucks because the guy that founded it is Jewish so he supports the Israeli Army. That's what I learned from facebook today. What does that even mean? And really, do you think a company that has branches in Saudi Arabia and Lebanon really be THAT supportive of Israeli military action, if they have an opinion at all?

Let's think first. THEN do silly things like blame any prominent American Jew we can find.

From One City of Brotherly Love? to Another

Watching a War Across an Ocean When I'm 100 Miles From a Real One

As far as I can tell there is a war brewing on Penn's campus between Penn Israel Coalition and Students for Justice in Palestine. Kids, read the name: JUSTICE. It's not called Students Who Hate Israel.

Here's a quote from an event posted on facebook: "Students for Justice in Palestine is putting on an anti-Israel rally for Gaza next Thursday, and we need a big turnout for our side!"

And here's one from the event page of the so-called anti-Israel rally: "...to raise awareness about what has specifically been going on in Gaza since the 27th of December. Though this will be a silent march, we will be holding signs that reveal facts about the blockade and genocide."

Not to choose sides indiscriminately, but it seems as though the Gaza march is a peaceful event, aiming to inform, not to intimidate. On the other hand, the PIC's march is reactionary and aims to silence its opponent rather than listening to what they have to say. How can anything be achieved if one side continues to act petulant, immature, and ignorant? This goes both ways, depending on the day, so don't go getting all uppity at me for telling it like it is. A Palestinian friend's facebook status recently read: "Israeli Rats have enough shelters 2 hide in.While Gaza have sky as a roof,blood rivers as floor ..Thats y PALESTINIANS R MEN & israelis r rats!"

Please, everyone, control your anger. It is rational, understandable, and necessary, but deal with it maturely instead of throwing around hateful words and stereotypes and become informed before you inflame. Only then may you have your opinion to do with as you wish.

Third Home?

Coming back into Amman yesterday was a weird feeling, the same as when I go back to Philly or to Maine, like going home in a way. I guess when you go through some kind of experience like this somewhere, even if it's for such a short time, it really does start to feel like home, even if it's one of many. It made me really think I do want to come back eventually, although definitely not right now. After graduation if I have a job or something I'll come back...insha'allah.

Didn't do much today, went downtown for lunch at Hashem's (one of the famous Amman restaurants) where we gorged ourselves on fuul, hummus, falafel, etc. Zaki kteer! It's funny how getting around down there used to be so confusing and now it makes so much more sense, although I won't pretend to be a master of wast al-balad.

My goal is to do some daytrips while I'm back here, so hopefully some of that will get accomplished and I'll have some interesting stories to share.

JFK again! My favorite place in the world.

Merry Christmahannukwanzaa and a Happy New Year to all.

After a brief respite for much needed cold weather enjoyment I am now en route back to the desert. After a whirlwind of a few days (since Wednesday) it has been non-stop phone calls, planning, packing, and for the last 36+ hours, traveling. Lovely Delta canceled my PHL - JFK flight this afternoon forcing me to seek alternate transportation which took the form of a nice older middle aged guy driving an airport shuttle from Princeton to JFK through snow storms and EWR, and I'm not sure which of those was more chaotic. But I got here, حمدالالله, and although my flight has of course been delayed an hour (it is JFK, so not everything can go your way). I've already made a friend who wants me to go to her house in زرقاء so she can cook me mansaf and I can marry one of her sons.

Also there's this one little kid (2 years old!) who according to his mother is learning four languages simulatneously: Arabic, French, English, and Armenian. Wow. If only ...

And there's this other really cute little kid, and now they kind of play together and it's very adorable. The second one took my SIGG (which is empty, of course) and started throwing it around until he hit himself in the head with it which didn't seem to bother him.

It's amazing how much I understand what's going on around me (it's basically all in Arabic)...I guess I didn't realize how much I know. I've spoken to people (like my future mother in law) and they say I'm good at it! So I guess 3 weeks isn't long enough to lose it, after all.

There were also a bunch of French people at the newsstand store and it was amazing how much of what they said I understood, although I couldn't say anything to them because I could tell that as soon as I opened my mouth Arabic would come out. Oh well. At least I can do one at a time, anyway...